Using Meditation for Anger Management may Prevent Damage to Relationships
Everyone gets angry. It’s normal when you’re in relationship with others. Not everyone manages their anger well. Some believe that expressing anger in the heat of the moment is the best way to manage it. Consider trying meditation for anger management. It will lead to much less conflict and hurt feelings.
Meditation can be thought of as a period of time when you are inwardly focused. It doesn’t just have to be about focusing on breathing and keeping the mind still. Being proactive in meditation and using meditation for anger management is an excellent practice. It will give you the chance to examine what exactly happened and a reasonable course of action to take. While in the heat of the emotion, our reasoning ability is not functioning at its peak.
Here is a hint; anger skews our interpretation of reality. Yes, it is valid that something happened leaving you feeling either violated, disrespected, not considered, rejected, demeaned, humiliated etc. These are typical feelings that accompany anger.
Once the blood begins to heat up though, we lose touch with the clear reasonable mode of thinking and can fabricate narratives that only exacerbate our anger. Meditation is an excellent way to first give room for the emotion to simmer down and second to ponder what exactly happened once the reaction has subdued.
Anger is generally an emotional reaction. Something has happened and our emotional state has gone from calm to turbulent. Sit quietly and above all, allow the feeling some space. This can be hard because feeling angry is not pleasant. I don’t even recommend burning off the anger doing physical things like going to the gym or beating pillows. Not yet.
First allow the full feeling space to reveal itself. Do this while sitting peacefully in meditation. Above all, realize that your mind is not reliable at these times. You likely can’t see straight so don’t believe the thoughts your mind presents. Seriously, don’t fall into that trap.
Once the anger has been given room, look for what other feelings got stirred up by what happened. It is pretty much a given that underneath your anger are feelings (as mentioned above) such as hurt, disrespect, humiliation and rejection. It will help tremendously to identify these other feelings as they are better guides for what action to take.
One beautiful thing about the human soul is that if you give room to your negative feelings to reveal themselves, they generally begin to subside. They are trying to reveal something significant that happened and help your mind decide how best to handle it.
In our culture, we are often in such a hurry to get away from negative feelings that the mind jumps in prematurely and suggests really bad solutions. The worst thing you can do while angry is to decide you are going to do something to get back at the person who angered you. Karmically this is a nightmare but it is very much a part of the global mentality. Try to discipline yourself away from such a thought process.
Instead, patiently sit with yourself and be kind and compassion as you reveal the depth of your feelings. Validate how you feel by talking yourself through things. There may be something you can learn about your situation, yourself or others in your life as a result of what happened.
For example, it might be that you can’t see how you are antagonizing others even though it’s not your intention. You might be acting passive aggressively and can’t see it. Others might be reacting to subconscious behaviors of yours and thus striking back. In meditation, you have a better chance of seeing if this is the case.
You might also see that the other person is not respecting good boundaries and is crossing lines that leave you feeling violated. A conversation establishing good boundaries might be your best bet. Using meditation for anger management will show you what the real issues are. Use the time to first identify and calm the feeling then validate what you feel. Once a little calmer, examine objectively what happened and think through a reasonable course of action. While in meditation, this is a lot easier.