Men and Women have Masculine Energy. Finding Your Positive Masculine Self will Greatly Balance your Life
We have a funny expression in our culture around dating. We ask our friends if they are ‘seeing someone’. In this context, seeing means dating as in a possible romantic partner. It is quite interesting that we have linked this word seeing that connotes not only a visual recognition of but also a sort of knowing. When we see something, we understand it as in, “Oh, I see what you mean.”
In the pursuit of happiness that we are all participating in, for the majority, a romantic partner is a highly sought after part of life. This is natural as we are wired by God to want to share ourselves in relationship. There can be a tremendous feeling of connection and joy when our experiences are seen and shared by others. When you add in romance and the sexual union, that feeling increases exponentially. When it comes to romance, we really want to see someone and be seen by them!
Let it be known that God wants most adults to connect with a special someone of the opposite gender and enter into the sacrament of marriage. The problem is that most of us have tried to do a version of this while coming from a wounded and incomplete place. In an ideal world, our parents would do two things really well; first they would love us thoroughly, we’d feel it and we’d grow relatively on-pace meaning our physical and emotional needs would be mostly met and by the time we reached the age of 18 or so, we’d be ready to be launched into the world as young adults. Second, they’d have taught us that loving God and being in relationship with our Creator is the priority even above loving them as parents. They would’ve not only taught us that but lived it by example too.
Well, we didn’t get that. And in most of us, we didn’t even get close to that. If we had been loved and taught this way, naturally our masculine and feminine attributes would’ve developed and would now be in a pretty good balance. When this is the case, an individual doesn’t seek out a mate to carry the undeveloped part of themselves. When we get real honest, we recognize that we have been seeking out a partner from a place of lack.
Let’s explore the inner masculine energy. When we think about things that are built or fixed, or invented, we might automatically attribute such things mostly to men. Instead consider these actions as masculine. In order to build something, or fix it, we need an understanding of what we are trying to accomplish and the skill to do it. Because there are some unknowns before we proceed, we also need the confidence to try something that has an uncertain outcome. We’ll consider in simplistic terms that somewhere from our masculine side comes confidence and when we open the channel within to receive it, we feel empowered and inspired to take action. In this way, confidence comes from within.
Confidence is a key component in being able to make timely decisions. Every decision involves some risk because we choose one thing at the exclusion of others. Not deciding allows all possibilities to hang in limbo which though unfulfilling, buys us a little time. If we lack confidence, the idea of making that decision will likely create fear and anxiety. What if we make a bad decision? How will we cope with the problems that come from it?
But the emotional consideration of a good or bad decision isn’t really the job of the masculine side. The realm of feelings and emotions is feminine. When you have your masculine energy available you will consider your feelings at the appropriate time but the decision rests on the masculine. Tonight, we want to exclusively focus on finding the voice of our positive masculine self.
Both men and women have a masculine presence within. It is a bit simplified but still accurate to say that the masculine is tied to our thinking and the feminine is tied to our feeling. Opening to our inner masculine will be a wonderful step towards cleaning up the activity of our minds. The well balanced functioning masculine mind is opportunistic. In the positive sense, it is constantly scanning the horizon looking for ways it can be useful and take action. The masculine side of us wants to act in a deliberate, decisive way that gives something.
Think of someone you know who is a handyman. This person walks into a house and their mind begins to look for problems that they can help alleviate. This is because the masculine part of us wants to help out in the form of doing. While we can get upset in our culture that the business world is more male dominated, the reason for this is that more men are acting from their masculine side and thus seeing the opportunities to begin a business, and acting confidently in getting started despite the risk.
The feminine side of us wants to help out in the form of deep relating, caring and loving. We mention this here so the temptation to want to defend the feminine is avoided. Can you imagine that if both were in balance, everyone would want to help out? Our feminine side wants us relating to each other, caring, listening and validating what others are going through, loving by giving patiently and with complete attention that which is needed. Our masculine side wants us, doing, meaning using our hands and feet to complete what needs to be done. What a wonderful day that is when these aspects start seeing each other!
It is true that the masculine part in us is imbalanced on its own. If yours is not being listened to, you likely to struggle to make decisions, especially the bigger decisions because you aren’t accessing the inner confidence that already exists within you. The word ‘confidence’ originates from the verb ‘fidere’ meaning trust. We thus say that confidence means ‘with full trust’. And here is where it gets really fun… that trust is not in ourselves per se but in the GodSelf. Our confidence comes because we have full trust in God who communicates from within. This is where the masculine part of us tunes in.
When you hear your own masculine voice communicate, it speaks with boldness and certainty. This is simply because it has full trust in God. The masculine within each one has one ear to God and the other ear to what is going on in your outer world. It (or you) sees what is needed and tunes into the higher part of you to be told what to do. The higher part trusts what it hears, senses or feels and makes a decision without doubt.
The second part of this confidence is about capability. You will find men who lack the experience in some areas but are so confident in their decision that they plow ahead anyway. This is sometimes a problem of youth. In reality, it’s the wisdom of the feminine that will temper such reckless arrogance and help us avoid falling flat on our faces. But it’s not all together bad to have a very strong confidence cultivating inside. We just want it to work out positively and constructively which will require feminine participation.
Capability grows with experience. We must make the decision confidently and then learn how to execute on our plans. This again comes mostly from the masculine side. It wants to act and is restless to do what needs to be done. One might feel that as an inner fire that can’t be held back. So let’s stop holding it back! Taking action when done in consideration of your feelings is a recipe for tremendous creative power.
Confidence and decision making followed by action are the most important masculine attributes that should be developed. This tends to be lacking and undeveloped more in women because fathers don’t know how or simply won’t each it. The world fears strong decisive women to some degree but covers it up teaching girls that they will be perceived as unladylike if they get too strong. Ridiculous! True, if you choose to become strong by developing your masculine side as God is calling you to, some people may reject you. Some men may not find you as attractive but a man that doesn’t want a woman to come into her full power will not be a good long term partner. The question is… who are you here to please?
Other masculine attributes that are important to own and develop include protectiveness. We think of our fathers as being the protectors of the household, ready to take necessary action if they feel their families are being threatened. We don’t advocate violence but the balanced masculine carries a presence that does not invite attack. Weakness, victim mentality, fear, passivity and antagonism tend to elicit aggression and conflict in others. On the other hand, the protective instinct is more about being vigilant and willing to do anything, even die to save others from harm. It’s heroic and has faith that if danger appears, what is needed will be given.
Your masculine side will warn you when a threat is nearby. There is no way around the reality that men are physically stronger than women and as a result, they recognize that they are responsible in certain situations to use their bodily strength to protect their loved one. Let’s take that on from the inside now. This might be when a situation is looming that will result in hurt feelings for you. Your masculine side will perk up and try to prevent you getting involved in something not good for you.
We also want to highlight discipline. Discipline originates from the word disciple, one who learns from a teacher. Remember, the teacher is God from within. God is teaching us to live and to do so in a complete and pure way, we will need to be disciplined in following what we are taught. It is a strong decisive mind that leads to a disciplined body. The masculine part in you exerts a disciplined will power when it listens within and decides to follow.
And finally, let’s talk about courage. Courage as a word originates in ‘heart’. Think of the French word ‘coeur’ and the Spanish word ‘corazon’. We would think of such a trait to be associated with the feeling side. In fact, courage is a masculine attribute that propels us to make a decision and act on it without allowing the negative emotions such as fear, doubt, anxiety or worry to erode at our confidence. We want to develop a relationship with our courageous heart.
Think of when you are standing on the high diving board and you know it’s time to jump. The longer you stand and do nothing, the more space you allow for the fear to have a voice in you. Courage is that spark that gets the muscles firing, not waiting for someone to tell you it’s time but knowing from within that it is time move.
There is more to the positive masculine in us. What we want to do is make it a priority to find this part of us, give it a voice and communicate with it and from this place frequently, as in daily. Over time, you will become this. It will simply be a part of who you are.